Let's be Real

For right now in this moment, I need to be real. Real about life and being a grown up. 

I work full time outside of our home and I work full time inside of the home too. I wake up early 5 days a week and get into the shower. I get myself ready for the day. Then I wake up my children and struggle to get them ready for the day. After 30-40 minutes, I finally get them dressed and we come downstairs where I make their breakfast, my coffee, put the lunches in the lunchbox that I packed the night before, and ask them to put their shoes on, 25 times, and they finally put them on. We get our coats and get out in the car. I get them to daycare, hug and kiss them, tell them how much I love them, and then I go to work. After 8.5 - 9 hours in the office, I drive back to pick my kids up for the day and pray that they are ok with eating leftovers, breakfast foods, or whatever else I can pull together and call it dinner. This includes a fast food drive-thru every so many days too. We get home and eat and then some nights we play, or they play. Some nights we watch TV, or they watch TV. Some nights we rush for a bath and brush teeth and hurry for story and bed. It's safe to say that by 9:30 every night, I have completed the tasks I need to just to get through the next day. So then I have to think about laundry, cleaning bathrooms, sweeping and mopping floors, vacuuming, organizing, picking up toys, etc. But the reality is, by 9:30, all I want to do is go to bed and read a book or watch non-animated TV. Even if it's only for 10 minutes before I fall asleep doing one of these things. By Friday night at 9:30 the last thing I want to do is pick up the house, do laundry, dishes or anything other than veg on the couch. 

Don't judge me because my house is NOT organized and neat and orderly. I have STUFF. I have LOTS of stuff because I am an emotional person and I value the sentiment of these THINGS. My kids have lots of things because despite my husband and I BEGGING people to NOT buy any more toys for the kids, they have a playroom overflowing with toys. And I can't part with them all yet because they still play with them once in a blue moon. My home is lived in. And I do clean when I finally can't take it anymore. But the bottom line is, my house is a disaster at this very moment and all I can think about is, someone might come over and what will they think!?! 

So here's where I will be extremely real. I work full time outside of the home and I work full time inside of the home. I want a magazine house like the next person,  but at the end of the day, I am tired. I would rather live in an untidy house and adore my children than worry that someone will judge me. I would rather live in a cluttered mess than ignore my kids and spending time with them, even if it's just TV because mommy can't muster energy to have a tea party or run laps around the place. If someone reading this has the magic balance of how to make it ALL work, then I applaud you and I hope you will sell this magic. You will become a gazillionaire and the world will probably worship you in some way shape or form. The reality is, I left dishes in the sink this morning and tonight. I didn't empty the dishwasher from last night yet. I haven't folded the clothes sitting in the dryer for over 2 days now. The playroom looks like someone has ransacked the room for some item that cannot be found. My living room has clutter and toys all over. It goes on and on. 

AND I DON'T CARE. I finally don't care. 

It's 2015 and I vow to be present with my kids each and every day. I vow to pay attention to them and their needs. And if after I put them to bed I don't have the energy to do a damn thing around here, I won't. And it's ok. 

Life is short. Life is about being an example and role-model and being present. Life is about going after the things that matter to you and still having goals and ambitions for yourself after you become a parent. Life is not about how clean, tidy and organized your house is. 

I will take time to do a little at a time to make the clutter disappear. I will love my kids and my husband. I will play with them, and cuddle with them, and be present with them. I will not worry about if someone stops by and there is a pile of mail on the table. I will be an example for my kids and raise them up the best I can.

And my house will suffer. And it's ok.

happy 2014!

          and yet another year has gone by and i didn't post but once. a year ago. interesting. do i have too many hobbies? do i have too many commitments? am i sucked into things that don't really matter? i honestly have no idea, but i do know that these kids take up a lot of my time, and i love them immensely! and that's probably why i don't get to say much or share what we're up to. that and, well, we don't seem to do a LOT. we are just, us.

          in 2014 i vow again to love the heck out of my kids and husband. i vow to declutter and organize. and prepare for the upcoming move to williamsburg. but not today. today on this first day of 2014, i am relaxing and enjoying the kids.

          in 2014 i will play with my new camera and hopefully post more photos here for those that read this (if any) and see my "work" throughout the year. i am so excited to enjoy this new camera.

         happy 2014!

Happy New Year!

happy 2013!  

i am so happy for this new year. i have already found the need to stop myself from feeling like i am failing somewhere along the way as a mom and wife. my house was a mess last night but i didn't clean, i just enjoyed company and snacks and celebrating a new year. this morning as i was taking down the christmas tree, i kept thinking "my house is too small", "we have too much stuff for the kids to play with", "my house is always a mess" and i stopped myself again to remind myself that i am an awesome mom that my kids have toys to play with, a roof over their heads, and so much love from their mommy and daddy that all the other stuff doesn't matter. whew.  i am so glad i didn't let myself get too worked up over it!

this year i promise myself that i will get the house organized, i will declutter all areas of my life, and i will love the hell out of my kids and husband. the last one being the most important and first and foremost on my list. life is too short for me to get so caught up in nonsense.  it's definitely a going to be a work in progress, but i look forward to making improvements.

i hope the year brings all of my family and friends health and happiness. 

here's a picture of gracie in her christmas party outfit

merry christmas

christmas has come and gone, so fast, like every year. 

and while i tried so hard to be ready for it, i didn't get "everything" finished. but, the kids had clean clothes, gifts under the tree, stocking hung with care (no chimney here), and plenty of fun with family.  

i will not beat myself up anymore that i didn't get to make 90 different kinds of cookies or decorate the whole house like a magazine. because in the end, it took timmy 8 hours to open gifts.  after a while, he just didn't want to open anymore.  so we waited until he was ready. (and that will be fun to share with him in the future)

i hope that all of you enjoyed the christmas season with lots of love and warmth with your friends and family and made memories for years to come. it was so wonderful to open presents in my home on christmas morning and not someone else's. i look forward to the christmases to come where many more traditions will be made.

today we are enjoying snow falling, the polar express (again and again) and staying warm. tomorrow is another day.

merry christmas

Been away too long

I have been  bad blogger, and it's probably because who the heck has time for this with 2 small children, a dog, a house, and all the fun that goes with it!?!  But alas, I am writing something to say.... I am tired. I need a vacation (without the family preferably) but a vacation nonetheless... This time off of work has been great. Getting to know my beautiful daughter, Grace Margaret, has been awesome too. But I am kinda ready to get back to the work place. I think it's because it gives me my sanity.  Or I am just that kind of a woman.   At any rate... I go back in 2 weeks.

Here are some pics of my beautiful little girl!

And now some recent ones...

Happy St. Patrick's Day

No I won't be imbibing on green beer and corned beef and cabbage today, but I will enjoy the gorgeous day out there! We're having an early spring and so far it's very refreshing. Here are a few photos from last weekend at the playground:

He tried the swing again, but alas, still cried and didn't like it. Oy vey. He doesn't know what he's missing out on!

Things with new baby girl are progressing along. She's almost 28 weeks in my belly. We still have some issues as of last ultrasound and how she might have to be delivered, but that's ok, as long as she's healthy, that's all that matters to me. Oh and that I listen to the doctor's and do what I am told to keep her in there as long as possible. I am on modified bed rest, I can only sit at my desk at work, and I am to sit or lay down at home. No lifting, even Timmy (you explain that to him), no cleaning, nothing extra. Just take it easy. So, um, I confess that this morning, I got him from bed, changed his clothes, set him on the floor, came downstairs, saw the dog vomit, so I got on the floor to clean that, put Timmy in his high chair and got him cereal, cleaned the rest of the mess on the floor from the dog, ate my breakfast, did the dishes and am sitting here typing this and he's watching TV. Bad mommy. But in my defense, Tim wasn't home last night, so I had to. (Sorta)

Tim decided he wants a smartphone instead of his dinosaur dumb phone. So rather than purchase a NEW phone from the provider (like many normal people would do) he went to his brother's last night in PA, 3 hours away, to buy an old phone of his (like a year old) and take to the provider to get the service activated and NOT be under contract. I think it was silly, but whatever. Therefore, Timmy and I were home alone. On the plus side, Timmy sleep until 8 this morning! WOOT!

I bought a Kindle Fire and got that in the mail yesterday. So now I am trying to figure it out. If anyone has any tips/tricks/suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it. (that is, if anyone reads this.)

Other than that, Timmy started a new daycare that everyday I go to pick him up, I ask if he's ready to go and he says no. He REALLY likes it. In fact, he loves it. I am so glad I made the switch and so sorry I waited so long! It's less expensive and he's sooooo happy. Oh and he's trying really hard to say sentences. But the most he gets out are 2-3 words, and that's ok. We also want to stop using the paci, but man that's not easy. That's Timmy's lovey. UGH. And since new baby will probably also take one, no sense trying to get him to stop just yet, I am afraid he will just revert when she arrives.

That's all for now! Oh and I hate March Madness.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

A few January Photos